10/30/2007

london rubber co



It is not widly Known that the sale of french letters n australia  has become very poor since the england game . It seams it only takes one Johnie to fuck all of australia.


Categories: joke
posted by woodybear at 10:00:00 am | Leave Comment [0] | # Link to this entry
10/09/2007

wibbly wobbly walably



Even with the ref helping the your  scrum trying  to dig thier way home .It was great to see  your oh so powerful oh so brave cheating gits    on thier knees and crying beaten into a pulp by the no hope poms . I repeat on there knees and crying .I dont supose you ausies saw your team weeping you only watch when your winning.Next time dont forget the poms dont start untill everbody thinks were beaten .And we get bettter odds as the underdogs and dont have cheat.The out come is no matter now .We won our world cup . You were suposed to be the best  but when it  matters your second best as usual.I await your excusses with intrest    I  need another good laugh.  Mind you I was also pleased you Nz  brothers{mostly south sea islenders }  got stuffed by the frogs now we will have a straight game no matter who winsWe dont have cheat or bribe refs  we prefer it when we know the refs are bias against us .It will be a tough game I wonder who the bookies will tell the refs to help .Out come wont mean much because the bookies have allready decided the cup winners .


Categories: sporting jokes aus rugby team
posted by woodybear at 10:00:00 am | Leave Comment [0] | # Link to this entry
10/06/2007

could it be the wibbly wobblies are scared cant think why its only the poms



Rough-and-tumble: McMeniman expects it from England taken from the  daily telegraph on Friday

Who Hugh? He's on the Wibbly Wobblies bench and apparently he's expecting some. "You can expect anything from England," McMeniman said during the week. "Definitely off-the-ball stuff, or anything if you're lying on the ground, and a bit of a scratch on the eye."

There are so many responses to Hugh's concerns – what kind of name is that for a tight forward anyway? – that it is difficult to know where to start. The first is what a sap. Any international forward worthy of the title does not go bleating about possible trouble days before the kick off.

We'll be kind to Hugh. Maybe he was set up, used by the Aussie management to try to alert the referee to what will undoubtedly have to be a no holds barred, uncompromising effort by the England pack if they are to beat Australia.

But Hugh? What has the game come to if you're worried about getting trodden on when you're lying on the ground. Since when in rugby has lying on the ground been acceptable? What do you want England to do? Say, "Excuse me old chap", and walk round you. Or, extend a hand and help you gently to your feet before carrying on with the game.

Another response is to ask Hugh what era he thinks he's playing in. This World Cup has gone after foul play to such an extent that it is impossible to stamp down without being stamped on by referees, touch judges, citing officers and disciplinary panels. Make a tackle marginally higher than chest height and it's off to the bin for 10 minutes. I wrote earlier about the death of rucking. When Raphael Ibanez rested his slipper on the thigh of an Irish forward he was summarily admonished by a finger wagging referee. Those days have gone, Hugh. Position your anxieties in the right decade at least.

Because there was a time when the Aussie pack were justifiably fearful of British forwards. The occasion was the second Test between the Lions and Australia in 1989, subsequently dubbed The Battle of Ballymore.

It all started when Robert Jones stood on Nick Farr-Jones's boot as he was about to put the ball in to a scrum. The two scrum-halves exchanged handbags and then the heavy mob waded in. First into battle on behalf of the Lions was Mike Teague. Second into the brawl was police constable Dean Richards, followed by fellow copper Wade Dooley, to be joined, eventually, by solicitor Brian Moore. The Wallabies called it disgusting, and shameful and illegal. Illegal? With that cast list it was the most lawful scrap in the history of the game.

Which brings me to the third reaction to Hugh's whinging. Maybe, just maybe, the Wallabies are still fearful of what a fired up England pack can do to them. The Twickenham Test of 2005 when Andrew Sheridan twisted Al Baxter inside then out then inside again just for fun is still a recent memory.

Hugh couldn't be seen to be saying that ahead of a crucial Test. Pleading for England not to push too hard or to go easy on the Aussie front row would be too shameful for words. So instead he went down that tired old road of talking up the biff. It could be that the Aussies are genuinely worried about what will happen to them up front on Saturday. Maybe England have a chance after all.

Posted by Paul  Ackford on 05 Oct 2007  at  10:50 in the daily telegragh


Categories: rugby world cup
posted by woodybear at 10:00:00 am | Leave Comment [0] | # Link to this entry
09/05/2007

Important Government Warnings





IN THE EVENT OF A NUCLEAR ATTACK
OR SOMETHING....THESE ARE SOME
IMPORTANT  RULES THAT 
MUST BE OBSERVED.....



If you happen to have set
yourself on fire,
do not run





If you are sprayed with an
unknown substance, stand
and think about a cool
design for a new  tattoo



If you spot terrorism, blow your
anti-terrorism whistle. If you are
Vin Diesel, yell really loud.


If you need to you can use your
flashlight to lift the walls
right off of you!

Absorb as much radiation as you can
with your groin area. After 5 mins, 12
seconds you may become sterile


A one-inch thick piece of plywood
should be sufficient protection
against radiation.




If you hear Backstreet Boys,
Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio,
cower in the corner or run like hell.




Always remember to carry
food with you during a terrorist
attack.  At least you'll be able to
enjoy a nice coke and apple
before you die.



If a door is closed, karate
chop it open





Be on the lookout for terrorists with
a pink eye and leprosy. Also, they
tend to rub their hands together
manically.



If you lose a contact lens during a
chemical attack, do not stop to
look for it.


Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If
you spot him with dead, dead
eyes, run the hell away.



If you've become  a radiation mutant
with a deformed hand, remember to
close the window. No one wants to
see that shit.


If you are trapped under falling
debris, conserve oxygen by
not farting.




If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin
it against the wall with your
shoulder




If your lungs and stomach start
talking, stand with your arms
akimbo until they stop.




Do not drive a station wagon
if a power pole is protruding
from the hood




The proper way to eliminate
smallpox is to wash with soap,
water and at least one (1)
armless hand.

  Hurricanes, animal corpses
and your potential new tattoo
have a lot in common. 
Think about it.
 


After exposure to radiation you may
have mutated to a gigantic size:
watch your head.






Categories: jokes
posted by woodybear at 10:00:00 am | Leave Comment [0] | # Link to this entry